Actual sentences I heard and conversations I participated in today, all of which involving my 12-year-olds:
"I found you on Facebook. Your profile picture is you in a dress standing with your sister on a farm."
Female Student: Miss Melchione, are you single?
Me: Yes.
Female Student: Have you met [long term math sub who looks like a fourteen year old model]?
Me: Whatever your next question is, the answer is no.
(later during the day I ended up in the same hallway as this student and that long term sub. It was awesomely awkward.)
Male Student: Miss Melchione, are you coming to the game tonight?
Me: No I can't. I already had plans.
Male Student: Oh. I'm going to be there, and I was hoping we could hang out. And go to 7 Eleven to get some Slurpees.
Female Student: ARE YOUR PLANS A DATE?!
Tomorrow's Friday. PTL.
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