Today kind of sucked.

Today was the day that I promised my first block candy if they behaved for an entire class period and they didn't manage to do it. Today was the day that a student asked me why they're allowed to wear all this crazy stuff during spirit week because it's frustrating how bad everyone is when they don't have to be in uniform. Today was the day that I had a serious conversation with a colleague about not staying at this school another year. Today was the day that a student told me at lunch that if he was dying he would want me to be the one to do mouth to mouth on him. Today was the day that the entire school was packed into one room for the purpose of trying to outscream each other. Today was the day that a group of extremely attractive high school girls came to dance in front of a gym full of middle school boys...which went about as well as you might expect. Today was the day that I slammed a door in order to get the attention of my students who were running around the classroom, screaming at the top of their lungs, and climbing on chairs because they were waiting to be released to the pep rally and they thought that was a logical way to react. Today was the day that I broke up the beginning of a fight that one of my favorite 7th graders was about to start.

But...today was also the day, though, that one of my girls did a hands-free cartwheel in the middle of the gym during a step team performance, and I couldn't have been more of a proud momma. Today was the day that a legitimately awesome drum line from our high school came and performed for our kids, and half our football team decided to spontaneously break it down and have a dance party in the middle of the gym. Today was the day that my fifth block kids had to come back to my room after a pep rally and even though I was DREADING it because they were acting like crack addicts, they ended up making me laugh for fifteen minutes with their silly attempts at stepping and dancing like a bunch of goofballs. Today was the day that gluten free brownies came in the mail from my Grandma. So...I guess it didn't completely suck.

Peggy Anne McKay

Two brief windows into my morning, revealing my lack of health and sanity:

Today is jersey day for spirit week and I'm, naturally, wearing my Donald Driver jersey. An 8th grader who I've never had a conversation with ever in my life walked by and said "The Green Bay Packers?" And I screamed "WE'RE 7 AND 0!" after him at the top of my lungs in the middle of the hallway.

We did grammar packets all during first block today and kids kept asking me about the contractions, so I had them all stop and look up at the board so I could give them a hint. I explained that even though it doesn't always work, you can sometimes figure out where the apostrophe goes in a contraction by dropping the vowel at the beginning of a word and putting the apostrophe there. Example? Okay. I wrote "who are" on the board. And then explained that you can drop the "a" (I crossed out the "a") and put an apostrophe. Then I wrote the new word, which is "who're," which looks an awful lot like "whore." It was literally all my 7th graders could handle to not completely lose it.

Yeah...it's probably best I called it a day after first block and came home. I have SO much work hanging over my head and stressing me out so much, but the flu-like symptoms I'm feeling are hopefully going to win out and let me rest. I need to just be able to pause time so I can catch up on sleep and rest and stop this beginning-of-the-flu before it really gets started...AND get caught up on the literal mountain of papers and documents starting at me to grade.

Where You Invest Your Love, You Invest Your Life.

Two posts in one is a little excessive, I agree. But I was driving home from Bible study just now, feeling refreshed and reflective, and remembered something else that a student said today. And the full weight of his comment hit me again and it needs to be shared.

In the middle of a writing workshop class period when the kids are all working on their short stories and talking quietly to each other and I'm circulating throughout the room, I keep having to talk to Dahryus about getting back to work and making sure he's writing. After the sixth or seventh time talking to him, Alejandro - who sits next to him - says something about how this is nothing compared to other countries. No one at his table responds and I'm not really sure what he means so I just let him explain. He said "people in other countries would kill for the kind of education we get here." It made my heart absolutely melt, and it still does.

This, ladies and gentlemen, is why I teach.

My Life.

Actual sentences I heard and conversations I participated in today, all of which involving my 12-year-olds:

"I found you on Facebook. Your profile picture is you in a dress standing with your sister on a farm."


Female Student: Miss Melchione, are you single?
Me: Yes.
Female Student: Have you met [long term math sub who looks like a fourteen year old model]?
Me: Whatever your next question is, the answer is no.
(later during the day I ended up in the same hallway as this student and that long term sub. It was awesomely awkward.)


Male Student: Miss Melchione, are you coming to the game tonight?
Me: No I can't. I already had plans.
Male Student: Oh. I'm going to be there, and I was hoping we could hang out. And go to 7 Eleven to get some Slurpees.
Female Student: ARE YOUR PLANS A DATE?!


Tomorrow's Friday. PTL.

Creepy McGee

So Martin - I only keep using his name because you need to see the consistency of this young man's impact on my life - pulls me aside today during short story writing workshop that his character's name is going to be William Melchione. I looked at him with a look that I'm sure was both confused and impressed and said "...that's my dad's name." And the whole table said "Whoa! Really?!" and Josh said "he should go by Bill." Seriously. After saying that my dad goes by Bill, I also told both boys that they were really freaking me out and to get back to work. And then walked away.

Now that time has passed and I've recovered from the shock of the moment, I'm finding young Martin at his locker tomorrow morning and asking him if he googled me. That's the only explanation I can think of. There's no way that was a coincidence.

Kids say...things.

As a follow-up to this weekend's blog, I suppose today was better than I'd anticipated and I'm feeling better about things I suppose...time will tell with a lot of this stuff. Something happened in my last class, though, that needs to be shared. Insight into who and what I'm dealing with all day every day:

Martin, Jesse, Brenda and Sophie were whispering at the beginning of class in the back of the room. It was bugging me because I was trying to get them to be quiet to start silent reading time and those particular kids are chatty but usually stop when I've asked them multiple times. Today they weren't. And I did notice they were glancing at me periodically too. I finally called them out specifically and told Martin - the supposed ringleader in this discussion - I was tired of seeing his mouth move, and he said "I'm sorry. We were discussing biology. And how things happen scientifically. And how things are made." At this point, Brenda is hushing and poking Martin but he isn't quite getting it. He must have thought I wasn't understanding what he was saying because he added "We were talking about reproduction" for good measure. I told him to hush and save it for health class because I didn't want to hear it. Then they had silent reading time and I kept having to make eye contact with Martin and point at his book because I kept catching him looking weirdly at me. What is this kid's deal? After silent reading time when I was taking page numbers from the kids and the class was basically quiet Martin raises his hand. When I called on him he said "Miss Melchonee (how he pronounces my name even though he knows how to say it right)...are you pregnant?" Brenda and Sophie bury their faces in their hands but Jesse and Martin stare at me fully serious and expecting an answer. I shot daggers into them and said no. And then the rest of the block I pretended to be VERY angry with Martin, and one time even did the Runaway Bride "I'm watching you" move.

I'm fairly certain I'm losing weight, so I can't figure out what the heck is wrong with Martin. Brenda apologized after class and said that he is stupid. And that the style of my dress must have thrown him. And that my straightened hair made me look so different that he was confused.

I kind of love 7th graders.

A different kind of post.

I'm not going to be one of those people who uses her blog to whine and complain about her job. People like that annoy me for so many reasons, the first of which being that it's the opposite of any kind of professionalism. So I won't whine and complain about my job, and I certainly won't use any specifics. What I will say, though, is that I had been feeling so much better about work and about the kids and about classroom management....things have been going smoothly, I've been able to actually teach, and the minor discipline issues that have come out have been (basically) easily diffused. This week, a bomb went off in my nice little work world, though, and now I have no idea what the rest of this school year will be like. On the one hand, my kids behaved terribly on Friday and made me crazy trying to get control back every three minutes and there really isn't an option as far as disciplining and corrective action that is working or that is available. So it's frustrating, but it doesn't even really compare to the rest of the issues. In the last day and a half I've been thinking for the first time about whether I want to stay at my school next year and whether I even want to stay in my county...I sat in stopped traffic yesterday in the middle of six thousand cars and surrounded by orange construction cones and orange construction signs and construction cranes and construction dump trucks and all I could do was sob. I miss my mountains. I miss my cute little downtown and I miss having only one store in all of town and I miss my family. I miss actually being around my family for longer than a day at a time. I miss NOT being surrounded by asphalt and buildings and other people. And I know that there's a definite correlation between my job taking a sudden turn for the worse and my new strong dislike for my surroundings, and I know that I'm also just in my October slump of unhappiness and it will surely pass...but I also feel like possibilities have opened back up again. If I don't stay at my school another year, then why couldn't I look for a job somewhere else? What do I really have tying me to this area that I seem to not love? But then the avalanche of thoughts (that are completely unnecessary considering it's only October) start crashing through, like: my queen bed came with my apartment so if I move then I'll have a queen sheet and comforter set but no queen mattress. I guess that's the stuff I'll realistically have to think about if I move...but not yet. Now I just need to think about...tomorrow.

And I need to talk about something other than the fact that Friday was a really bad day. So I'm just going to type and fill you in on all the random pieces of my life as they pop into my head. Feel free to read or not read as I start to become uninteresting.

I got to see some dear old friends this weekend. One of said friends, who I went to both high school and college with, came up from Winchester Friday night to visit. She hadn't been to my new place yet and it was so good to hang out with her, to sit and catch up with her, and to have an old animated movie from our childhoods playing even though we're not really watching it because I'm painting and she's trying to fix the Amazon Downloader on my computer. I love just being able to BE with friends like that and not feeling like you have to be doing something special. Another one of the friends I got to see is almost 8 months pregnant and there was a baby shower for her friends and family up here in Nova. After completely mismanaging my morning and getting stuck in the stupid traffic I mentioned earlier, I was a half hour late for the baby shower, and I had also had a brain shut down when I was getting dressed that morning and showed up to a formal baby shower in jeans...but there's grace from good friends and no one seemed to notice or care except me. But it was so good to see her and to be able to share in that experience with her. The third dear friend I was able to see was the best because it was a complete surprise. Becca Popp (who technically isn't Popp anymore but will always be in my heart) is the college best friend of the honoree of the baby shower. She lives pretty far away now though so I haven't seen her in a year and a half and wasn't expecting her to be at the shower. It was so good to see her and catch up and to hear about her life.

If you're looking for some fall listening music, I have several recommendations. I made a playlist this week that includes: Mumford and Sons, The Civil Wars, Adele, The Avett Brothers, Brooke Fraser, and John Mark McMillan. There's a fall playlist if I've ever seen one. It's kind of guaranteed to make your iPod or car stereo blow up from happiness, though. So be warned. I've also went ahead and made some music purchases last night that include Amos Lee and Johnny Cash. Because few things make me happier than Johnny Cash. Let's be serious.

Okay...time to start my Sunday of productivity.

12-year-old humor

So every Wednesday is free-write day in the kids' journals, meaning that they can write whatever they want. Some of them have an easier time coming up with material than others...here are two examples from the last couple of weeks (word for word from their journals):

"i went to school what is that oh that's a bus it's yellow omg i forgot my homework a baby goes whaa boom boom boom it's the fuzz nevermind hi grandma you look like justin beiber mommy what's that your face what a puppy i am hungry i want to eat a dragon i go to bed what is this wait this is a dream look it's flying pigs what the it's my sister is married to seth rogen i like cheese." (I think he should win an award for that stream of consciousness, personally.)

"well right now I have to go potty but SOMEONE won't let me go so it looks like I have to write in this stupid journal so here goes. once upon a time there was this boy named ----. he was in Ms. Melchione's class and he had to go potty just like me so he asked his teacher to sign his agenda but she wouldn't so he wanted to walk out but that means he would've gotten into trouble and his phone was gone."

I love it. I love them and I love it. Happy Monday.

My heart belongs to the Shenandoah Valley

...and sometimes cars DON'T cost you money. Sometimes you have really awesome men in your life who fix the problem for you. But more on that in a second.

I've been feeling extremely valleysick lately, missing my home and the mountains and the people and the atmosphere. The kind of atmosphere where you drive on only back roads and you almost hit a car on a blind curve because you forget that there are other people driving due to a lack of exposure. The kind of atmosphere where stop lights last (literally) 30 seconds. The kind of atmosphere where you see mountains no matter where you are. I really miss those mountains. Not for nothing, but northern Virginia is ugly. So I gathered up my stuff and went to the hunting cabin for Friday night and Saturday. My extended family was all up in Vermont for my cousin's wedding, so it was just my dad and brother and me at the cabin. The plan was to get work done in the cabin while they were out hunting all day...which kind of worked. But mostly didn't. What actually happened is that it was too hot and buggy to hunt so they got grumpy and we 1. installed a new fridge to replace the broken one, 2. switched the direction of the fridge doors around, 3. spent 45 minutes yelling at the under-the-hood region of my car while he fixed my bulb for free, 4. illegally dropped a broken fridge in an undisclosed place, 5. got turned around 47 times trying to make it to Gander Mountain, 6. followed a teenager around Gander Mountain in awe of his "Andre the Giant-ness", 7. almost hit a cat and a horse who both decided to get in my dad's way as he drove, and 8. took naps.

We also laughed a lot...my dad and brother are extremely funny guys. It was a lot of fun, and so great to see them. They went back out for the evening hunt and my brother got one! We then had to start the process of taking care of the deer...which I'd honestly forgotten about completely but was quickly reminded of when Dad said I was helping him and Peter was packing up the cabin. Peter and his dumb allergies. It's HIS deer. Got blood all over my (extremely ugly) purple fuggs so that's awesome...I went into Arby's on my way back to 81 later on and prayed no one looked at my shoes and called the cops on me. But let's be serious...it's Shenandoah County. They would all know it was from gutting a deer anyway.

It killed me to have to drive down that mountain and come back "home" to flat and asphalt. But I did, and I know that I'm here now for a reason. I would love it if I could spend some time here and then be able to move back to where I truly feel at home, but we'll just have to see I guess. If there is anything I've learned (which is an expression that I hate but that it appropriate here), it's that God's plans aren't ever my plans, but they're the plans I am supposed to be following. I've also learned that my plans generally suck, whereas God's don't. It's crazy, I know.

Sometimes cars cost you money.

So it was brought to my attention this weekend - during that glorious weekend of rest - that my driver's side headlight was out. I finally made it to Auto Zone on my way home from school yesterday and the nice people there sold me a headlight but were understaffed and couldn't come out and install it then. So I decided to come back today. After driving and walking all over Potomac Mills trying to find Books-A-Million in search of a specific book I need to use for a writing assignment for my students next week, discovering that Books-A-Million doesn't carry the book I want even though the website says it does, and driving back to Auto Zone...the guy came out to look at my car and informed me that he can't install that particular headlight because they would have to take parts out of my car in order to get to the right spot. They can't do that. But no problem, he says, because I can go to the mechanic that is literally next door and they'll do it for like ten bucks. So I drive next door and the [cute] mechanic tells me that he can do it, but it will be $40 and not $10. Kind of a leap, there, cute mechanic. He also offered to buy my car from me instead, if the $40 was too much, because he would love to drive that car. I said I'll think about it and did what any 20-something girl on her own for the first time would do: I called Daddy. And he thought about it for a minute but then told me I'll need to suck it up and pay the $40. Well crap on that.

In other news, we finished The Outsiders today in class and my students in one class applauded at the end. Applauded. I loved it. When we read about Dally dying yesterday one girl yelled at me "Why are you making us read this book?!" but all I heard was "I'm really emotionally invested in this novel and I'm not taking this sudden and tragic death very well." See it? I see it. Also - and this is just a funny 7th grade anecdote - my last class of the day is mostly boys. Tough, football playing, thug-like boys. And they are all so convinced that there's something not quite masculine going on with Ponyboy. They have spent the entire book dissecting every single thing the characters say looking for evidence of homosexuality that simply isn't there. Every time Ponyboy describes Soda as good looking, they flip out. Doesn't matter how many times you tell them that they're brothers and he's just describing Soda for us as the narrator. They've talked to me while standing in the lunch line about how "we're not too sure about Ponyboy, Miss Melchione." I love it. LOVE it. They're talking about a novel during lunch. Yesterday we were reading about Ponyboy being so sick he was basically comatose and when Darry called him "baby" one of those boys literally threw the book on the floor and told me he's not finishing it. I told him they're brothers and to suck it up. He picked it back up :)

The Weekend of Rest

I mentioned the other day that I've been going to bed at 9, but I don't think I mentioned why. I mean, besides the obvious. This whole teaching thing has been so exhausting, and this last week was horrible. There were highlights, obviously, and the whole week wasn't entirely terrible, but there was a whole lot of drama and a whole lot of discipline issues to deal with and it wiped me out. I didn't feel well all week, and I couldn't get enough sleep, and I felt at the end of my emotional rope. The climax of the bad week - the "climax" is the "big conflict moment" that everything in the plot builds up to...I've been teaching plot structures - was my biggest problem student having a huge blowup in class, leading to the least productive class period I've ever had and a complete lack of control of my class. I've never had a more frustrating morning...but it ended with an incredible amount of compassion and help from my principal as well as encouragement and advice from a couple of the teachers in my grade who do a great job of looking out for me and offering support. Yesterday was a much better day; everything went smoothly and peacefully, and I am so thankful for the people in my administration who have my best interests and my sanity in mind. Even my students noticed and commented on how different the day was compared to Thursday.

The other thing my students (and peers) noticed, though, was how terrible I looked yesterday. I had a handful of students, at least two teachers, and a resource officer ask me if I was okay yesterday, and one student specifically asked me if I was feeling alright. I was definitely in need of sleep and relaxation and recouperation...I'm definitley fighting some kind of funk on top of being exhausted. So that's what I'm doing this weekend. I'm sleeping. And reading. And watching Parks and Rec on Netflix streaming. And in between all of that I'll grade some tests and get the parts of my personal life that I've been neglecting in order (pay the bills, wash dishes, etc.), but I already feel better. Relaxation and mini escapes from the real world are kind of glorious.