The Almost Mental Breakdown

To start, a couple of conversations:

Student 1: The Packers are going to the Superbowl again and they’re going to LOSE.
Student 2: To the Saints!
Student 1: They’re in the same conference, stupid!

Me: Hey, the Steelers lost.
Student: I KNOW. I was like Teboooooooooow!

Student 1: Miss Melchione, what’s an ox?
Me: Have you ever played Oregon Trail?
Student 1: No, what’s that?
Me: It’s an old school computer game.
Student 2: Two big problems there. One: old school. Two: computer game. There’s a 360 now and a PS3 now and all kinds of other great things.

Also super amusing, one male student wrote during an exit ticket for the Hunger Games that a cause in the novel was that Katniss pretended to love Peeta, which led to the effects of Peeta being mad at Katniss, Katniss feeling lonely again, and no more kissing.

Something not so amusing happened today during 5th block. I’ve talked a lot about 5th block and all the not so amusing things that have happened in the last several weeks, but this time it was different. I had an interaction with the extremely difficult student I’ve mentioned before…she was just having a bad day and no matter how hard I tried to calm her down and keep her in the room – which , trust me, was pretty hard – I finally gave up and let her go talk to the Assistant Principal. Who then put her in In School Suspension for the rest of the day. She came back afterwards to apologize and talk things out with me, and we’re good again. She wasn’t the real issue. The real issue was that after she left the rest of the class continued to be terrible. After silent reading time (which was neither silent not involving any actual reading), I felt like my options with this class were either 1.) try a new approach with them or 2.) have a mental breakdown. So I went with the new approach. I asked them to open their journals and to spend a few minutes writing about what they think they’re getting out of school right now (if anything). Then I had them write about what they think high school is going to be like if they ignore middle school. Then…I told them that I can’t care for both of us. I told them that no matter how hard I care, I can’t make them care. And I told them that I care a LOT. I told them that I wanted to share a little secret with them: this is my first year teacher, and so they are my first actual students. I told them that that means that I care a lot about their success, and that I put an incredible amount of work and passion into our time together so that they are successful. I told them that I’m not exaggerating when I say that because they’re the first students that have ever been officially mine, I honestly think of them as my own kids. And that when they show up and act like jerks it ticks me off. I finished with saying that if they go on to high school and drop out because they wasted their time in middle school, it will BREAK my heart.

I wish you could have seen the facial expressions and heard the silence. I think it might have made a difference. Time will tell, I suppose, but they seemed...different, afterwards. Chatty and goofy and loud, but also productive and compliant and respectful. They were also extremely interested in interrogating me about the rumors that have been flying about whether I have a new boyfriend or not, with several of my boys responding in an incredibly protective manner. One boy told me to tell him that he’s stronger than he is, and to be scared. Another boy told me to tell him that if he ever breaks my heart he’ll kill him. “No really, I will. Tell him that I will KILL him.”

I never really thought that I would experience some of the things I’ve experienced this year. I never thought I’d hold onto students’ cell phones for the day, not because they’re in trouble but because they told me that they had them and I asked if they wanted me to hold onto them so they’re not tempted to use them when they shouldn’t. I never thought I’d have three of my girls come into my room in between Encore classes to chat, avoid going to their next class, and drop half of what they own onto my desk, under my computer cart, and onto my back counter for safe keeping. I never thought I’d use Lil Wayne to teach what a climax is. I never thought I’d argue with students over how I want them to stay in my classroom when they’re misbehaving horribly rather than go to the Assistant Principal because I’d rather work out our issues with them myself. I never thought I’d have students from my Homeroom sneaking into my other classes throughout the day and whining with me as I’m physically pushing them back out the door, saying “But Miss Melchione! It’s my favorite claaaaaass!” I never thought any of these things would happen, just like I never thought I’d tell a class full of students that I see them as my own children. It’s all true, though, and I honestly wouldn’t change any of it.